I dunno why I'm posting this here, but I just have to get it out. I shortened the post a lot too. Just posting it for a few hours was all I needed kind of.
I feel like I been sleeping for over 2 years. My drinking got really bad in 2014. Early 2015 I had my first blackout an found out the cops drove me home that night. A couple months after that I wound up in the hospital with a bac of almost .40%. I had punched a cop and a few paramedics, and woke up in restraints. It was scary. I've had other bad experiences and what has turned into what looks to be suicidal behavior, though it's my subconscious trying to kill me, not my conscious mind.
Today I was reading Rai's thread and noted how he hadn't started up his PC for a long time either. Well I started it up, and found all my old pictures, journal entries, and even old band recordings that had somehow disappeared from my phone. It all came back to me and I remembered what it was like in 2012 when I still felt like a normal person. Made me cry. I realized today that I've been sleeping for the past 2, maybe 3 years. Time just runs so fast and hits you like a freight train when you think about it.. and it runs faster and faster and you don't even notice how fast it goes until you look back and wonder how life got so fucked up so fast and where all the time went.
Thanks Choy for running the server. I got on there for the first time in a long time and it was great.
I been busy with fabrication both for pleasure and for work, below is something I built for myself in the past year.
Maybe I need new friends, get in a band again, maybe a new woman.. I don't know. Thanks for listening.
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