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Author Topic: Official Joke Thread  (Read 42407 times)

Infestation of Evil

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RE: Official Joke Thread
« Reply #30 on: April 23, 2011, 02:00:10 AM »
It's awright.. whatchoo got?

BalanceBeam

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RE: Official Joke Thread
« Reply #31 on: April 23, 2011, 02:01:02 AM »
Awww.. maybe because you're a girl? Go lesbian!!!!!! :D
WHO'S PLAYING?

Infestation of Evil

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RE: Official Joke Thread
« Reply #32 on: April 23, 2011, 02:14:41 AM »
Why the fuck did the chick in yer sig cut 'er hair off? Goddamn, I was waiting for that whole dumb-ass trilogy to die the fuck off so's I could see her cast in a movie that would really show her true talents, next thing I know she's some 'sophisticated lookin morlok WTF?
gams yeh but still WTF?!?

Heather

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RE: Official Joke Thread
« Reply #33 on: April 23, 2011, 02:15:12 AM »
Nah, I like penis   ;)

Who is she?
« Last Edit: April 23, 2011, 02:16:57 AM by Heather »

wolve

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RE: Official Joke Thread
« Reply #34 on: April 23, 2011, 07:05:09 AM »
dude i'm 30 years old lol

think about it

I Hate Bipolar,It's Awsome!!

GUMMO

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RE: Official Joke Thread
« Reply #35 on: April 23, 2011, 11:15:22 PM »
Confucius say Man who fishes in other man's well ...often catch crabs.

Infestation of Evil

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RE: Official Joke Thread
« Reply #36 on: April 23, 2011, 11:24:46 PM »
did ya hear about sir elton john? yeah he needed someone to help him push his stool in for him

wolve

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RE: Official Joke Thread
« Reply #37 on: April 24, 2011, 08:38:33 AM »
Before I go home from work, I always make sure that I turn everything off.

Which is probably why I lost my job as a doctor.

GUMMO

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RE: Official Joke Thread
« Reply #38 on: April 25, 2011, 11:47:19 PM »
Next time you use a  pair of rubber gloves, you're going to smile when you think of  this:

A dentist noticed that his next patient, a  little old lady, was
Nervous, so he decided to tell her a  little joke as he put on his
Gloves.

'Do you know  how they make these gloves?' he asked.

'No, I don't,'  she replied.

'Well,' he spoofed, 'there's a building  in Canada with a big tank
Of latex, and workers of all  hand sizes walk up to the tank, dip in their hands,  
Let  them dry,
Then peel off the  gloves and throw them into boxes of the right size.'  

She didn't crack a smile.

'Oh, well. I tried,'  he thought.

But five minutes later, during a delicate  portion of the procedure,
She burst out laughing.  

'What's so funny?' he asked.

'I was just  envisioning how condoms are made!'

(Gotta watch those  little old ladies! Their minds are always  working!)

wolve

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RE: Official Joke Thread
« Reply #39 on: April 26, 2011, 12:02:28 AM »
why don't old women get smear tests?

ever tried opening a cheese toastie?

on another note

ive just installed a plugin for firefox called redirector,facebook now redirects to rick roll,thats gonna piss the misses off muhuhahahaha

GUMMO

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RE: Official Joke Thread
« Reply #40 on: April 26, 2011, 12:21:20 AM »
cheese toastie?   ROFL   and i thought all the sicko's were over here . Man you would fit like a glove in Canada , I'll have to dig up some of my old classics  might have to make a separate joke spot for these  you sick bastard

ballsack

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RE: Official Joke Thread
« Reply #41 on: April 26, 2011, 12:35:11 AM »
I got invited to a party and was told to dress to kill.
Apparently a turban, beard and a backpack wasn't what they had in mind.
Some people can't sleep because they have insomnia. I can't sleep because I have Internet connection.

Infestation of Evil

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RE: Official Joke Thread
« Reply #42 on: April 26, 2011, 01:58:22 AM »
A U.S. businessman was visiting China for a few weeks and decided to sample a few of the prostitutes while there.
Back in the states he starts noticing some real bad virulent bumps on his pecker and decides to go to the doctor.

Doctor says "Yeah that's a real rare strain, and potentially fatal. The only known cure is to get it amputated"
So the man decides "Uhuh no fuckin way, i'm gonna get a second opinion."

Goes to a Chinese doctor, who says "Oh, not see bad case like that often. This not good."
The guy says "Well I went to a doctor before and he said something along the lines of me having to get it cut off..."

Chinese doc says "Oh you no listen to him, that is sirry american doctor, just want to steal your money!"

the man says "Well what should I do then?"

Chinese Doctor "Oh, you wait for two week it just fall right off."

GUMMO

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RE: Official Joke Thread
« Reply #43 on: April 27, 2011, 10:57:48 PM »
My family was so poor that if I hadn't been born a boy, I wouldn't have had anything to play with.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves
                                                                                                                                                   
 I knew a girl so ugly... they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders.                                                                                                                                                                                                                  
« Last Edit: April 27, 2011, 11:01:40 PM by GUMMO »

GUMMO

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RE: Official Joke Thread
« Reply #44 on: April 28, 2011, 05:13:36 AM »
My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex. She called me from Chicago last night